Dating In Your 30s Reddit
Internationally recognized expert and dating coach for women over 50, Lisa Copeland, shares the three things you may be doing wrong without knowing it.
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Over the years, I’ve worked with thousands of women in their 50s to help them overcome the challenges they’ve faced while dating. Three mistakes repeatedly show up over and over again. As someone, who’s very familiar with what works for women dating in their 50s, I’d like to share these mistakes with you, plus fill you in on what you can do to overcome them in order to find love after 50.
Mistake #1: Dating like you’re in your 20s.
When you were in your 20s and dating, you looked for men who were handsome and strong. It was, and is, part of your DNA coding from the caveman days to look for a man who could ultimately give you strong, healthy children.
When you’re over 50, you’re no longer looking to procreate. Yet, you go online or out to events and who do you look for? A handsome and strong man. The thing is looks and strength alone won’t get you what you need at this time in your life. (Or any time of your life really.) Why is that? Because you want a partner who can be there for you through the ups and downs of life, who can be a great lover, a friend, and a fun and playful companion.
When you’re looking for a man who might be the one for you, look for more than just looks. Figure out what’s important to him and see what values you share. This is the glue that will hold your relationship together.
Mistake #2: Looking for love vs. a relationship.
Falling in love is amazing. You have amazing chemistry because you’re body is releasing a hormone called Oxytocin that makes you feel like the two of you were always meant to be.
During this time, you’re wearing rose color glasses that can make a man appear perfect for you. At this point, what you are doing is fitting that square peg into a round hole and making it work. He can do no wrong!
Love is amazing but when the rose color glasses come off, which they will, you want to have fallen into like with this person too. You want to know that the two of you can deal with the day-to-day issues couples face together.
Chemistry is sexy and wonderful but it’s not the quality that sustains a long term relationship. Look for someone who can be there for you through the ups and downs of life. Someone you can communicate with. Someone you can easily work issues out with when they come up. Someone you like at the end of the day.
Mistake #3: Hanging out with Debbie Downers.
Nothing brings your hopes down faster than a Debbie Downer. This is the woman who thinks no good men exist, especially online, and they’ve given up.
Their attitude will affect you and keep you from making your dreams of love after 50 come true. Why? Because negativity is contagious and if you hang out with enough people that tell you it isn’t possible, that’s what your belief system will become over time.
If you want to find love after 50, hang out with people who are out there having fun dating and attracting the relationship they want. You need to believe in your dreams and surround yourself with people who will support you as you make them come true. Love after 50 is possible!
No one was born knowing how to date and that’s why over 50 dating tools and skills are so important. If you’d like to check out more of my advice, a great place to start is with a free report called the 5 Little Known Secrets for Finding Love after 50.
Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on dating over 50. She’s the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula for Women Over 50 and her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your FREE Report, 5 Little Known Secrets to Find A Quality Man, or to check out her 7 Day Over 50 Dating Challenge visit http://www.findaqualityman.com/.
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Dating In Your 30s Reddit 2019
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Dating men in their 30s is like hitting the sweet spot. They’re old enough to have finally figured out most of the important things in life, like their career and that they prefer happy-hour cocktails over hitting up the clubs at 11:00 p.m. But they’re also young enough to be open to new experiences and relationships without the cynicism and baggage that men above 40 might have acquired throughout their dating life. Before you say yes to that date with a thirty-something man, here’s (almost) everything you need to know about him.
1. He understands beauty is only skin deep.
A man in his 20s might have been more obsessed with his abs than you, but a man in his 30s is looking for someone with more substance and tons of confidence. Your thirty-something man realizes that a woman’s worth as well as her attractiveness goes deeper than her physical appearance. Of course men in their 30s appreciate a woman who takes pride in how she looks, but they also understand that good looks only get you so far. Self-esteem and a creative mind are the sexy turn-ons he’s looking for.
2. He doesn’t want any drama.
A man in his 30s is over the emotional outbursts, the dramatic head games, and all the chaotic confusion that typically depicts dating in your twenties. Now he just wants straight forwardness, honesty, and lots of peace and calm in his relationships. (i.e. no late night drunk texting and asking, “What are we?!!”) If you are curious about his feelings or relationship status, then just ask.
3. He’s looking to settle down… soonish.
Most men in their 30s are tired of random hookups and casual relationships that never go anywhere. He wants to find a suitable partner for a long-term relationship, and, eventually, possibly, marriage. However, dating doesn’t automatically equal marriage right away for the thirty-something man. Most men in their 30s are finally earning a stable income, which might mean he’s more concerned with getting that promotion than sending out wedding invitations. If you’re wondering where’s he at, ask him what he hopes to achieve over the next five years. If he mentions marriage, he’s looking for a commitment. If he mentions surfing around the world with his dudes, then he’s probably content with just dating. For now.
4. He wants support.
Men in their 20s have a lot of bravado. They hang out with their friends 24/7 and think they know a lot about the world, including women and dating, when they actually know next to nada. A man in his 30s realizes that he was a mess in his 20s and wants to better himself, but he also realized that he needs support getting his stuff together. He’s looking for a woman who he can learn from and lean on during the tough times, and someone with whom he can happily share the good times. If you’re open to nurturing him to be the best person he can be, then you just might find your match.
5. He wants you to be open about what you want.
A man in his 30s is more open to clear and honest communication than ever before. Whether it’s discussing your thoughts on marriage, having a family (or not) or what you would prefer he do in the bedroom, he wants to know it all. Don’t remain silent in fear of scaring him away. In fact, it’s remaining quiet about your needs and wants that might actually cause him to walk away.
Remember, a man in his 30s has, for the most part, relinquished the cavalier, immature, and sometimes selfish ways of his 20s. He’s open to experiencing one of the most significant relationships in his life—there’s no reason why it can’t be with you.
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